Sorry.... :-)

Wow, it's been a long time since I've been on here.  I know some of you have been asking for updates...sorry I've been such a blog slacker.  Well, here it goes...on November 17, 2010 at 1:00 pm, I was given the "I don't care" medicine (aka Versed) by the Anesthesiologist, and rolled back into the O.R.  My memory of everything from that point is very patchy...don't remember the trip down the hallway, but I remember helping the nurses move me to the operating table.  Then I remember an oxygen mask being placed over my nose, and that's it.   I woke up in a completely different room...a sort of holding tank for surgery patients who are waiting for a room.  A nurse was beside me practically the entire time I was in the recovery holding room..which I'm told was around 3 1/2 hours-watching my vitals, etc.  I was later told that I slept most of that time.  Travis was allowed to come back and see me...I remember being so relieved to see his face..to see the relief on his face.  My mom came back to see me-they were only allowed to stay for a few minutes each.  Somewhere around 6:30 pm I was moved to my room that would be home for the next few days. 

The first night was the worst.  A good bit of pain...also, during surgery, they inflate your abdomen with air which becomes trapped, and slowly has to work its way around and out of your body.  The worst part is when the gas gets trapped in your shoulders...sounds weird, I know.  I wasn't allowed to have anything by mouth yet, so they kept giving me Dilaudid (pain medicine) through my IV...but it would only last maybe 30 minutes at best.  It was a rough night.  The next day I was taken for my swallow test (x-ray) to make sure that I didn't have any leaks in the new pouch or the sutures.  All post-op testing went well.  Once I passed the swallow test, I was allowed to begin drinking clear liquids...and ounce at a time...broth, water, diluted juice, etc.  The next night was better.  Since I was allowed to drink, I was given liquid Loritab (liquid Hydrocodone), which lasted a good 4 hours at least, and I was given more if I needed it.  Next day I was progressed to full liquids...still only an ounce at a time, but this time I could have protein shakes, yogurt, things like that.  I was released from the hospital on Friday, November 19th at around 1:30 pm. 

Fast forward about a month and half....I am eating normally now-everything is "let's try it and see".  The dietician told me if something doesn't agree with me, give it a few weeks, then try that food again.  So far, there's not much that my pouch absolutely cannot tolerate.  I'm still doing protein shakes to make sure I get plenty of protein in, but I'm eating 3 meals a day.  I can eat about 4 ounces at each meal.  It's been a radical adjustment...I don't get hungry any more.  Of course, when it's meal time, then I want to eat food, but physical hunger-it's gone.  I eat because I know I need to eat.  I've only gotten sick once..Christmas Day, in fact.  :-)  I took a few too big bites of ham, and didn't chew them well enough...and woo, did my pouch let me know it.  Lesson learned.  At this point, that's what it's all about-learning what I can and cannot do.  But I'm very happy to say that Travis and I went to Carrabas on New Years Eve...I ate Chicken Bryan (straight from heaven, I'm telling you), italian green beans, a little bit of garlic mashed potatoes, and one very small piece of bread.  I even had a glass of sangria!  And it was great!! 

I'm back at the gym, working out like crazy, and feeling SO GOOD!  My energy is coming back, better than ever.  I'm loving the way I feel!!  Since surgery I've lost about 20 pounds...I stalled for about a week-which I'm told is to be expected-your body goes into self-protect mode when you're losing weight...especially this fast, so stalls are normal.  The recovery had its rough points, but nowhere near the ordeal that I expected...I had built up much worse in my mind, I guess.  I can honestly say at this point...NO REGRETS.  NONE WHATSOEVER.  During the holidays, I  did miss "big food"...I missed being able to gorge and gorge on everything in sight...but I'm discovering that there is a lot of freedom in not feeling like I have to eat everything in sight.  I eat to live....I no longer live to eat.  Wow...that is freedom to me. 

Today Is The Day!!

Hello all!  I am finally here!  Today is a day that is going to change my life!  :-)  Travis and I have to be at the hospital at 11:00 this morning, and my surgery has been moved to 1:00 pm.  I haven't been allowed anything to eat or drink (not even water) since midnight, so I'm trying not to think about how hungry and thirsty I am.  Thankfully, I slept VERY well last night...feel like I am well rested.  I'm actually surprised by how well I slept!  :-)

I want to thank you all for the many, many well wishes, hugs, prayers, kind thoughts, words of encouragement-you name it.  Thank you, thank you so much.  They mean so much to me.  There were a couple of you who posted to my wall on Facebook...please do not be offended or hurt but if you don't see your posts anymore, it is because I removed them.  I haven't shared my news with world of Facebook yet.  I will eventually, when I'm ready.  I've chosen to surround myself with the people I love dearly..people I know who have my back and support me and lift me up in prayer...I believe that the Facebook realm may open me up to some negativity and unwanted opinions, which is something I really want to avoid right now. 

So, off I go.  Thank you all again-I love you all.  Please continue to keep me in your prayers.  I will update again as soon as I can. 

3 DAYS....

Well here we are..."IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN"!!!  Tomorrow is my last day of the full liquid pre op diet.  Tuesday I will be on all clear liquids.  And Wednesday, my life changes forever.  :-)  It's been tough this weekend...yesterday, I learned that one of my best friends passed away, just 5 days after giving birth to her baby girl.  I am heartbroken and shocked.  Yesterday, I fought a big battle against turning to food for comfort-like I would have in the past.  I fought and won. 

My heart hurts for her family, and her sweet baby girl.  My heart hurts for me and for the rest of her friends that will miss her so much.  But I am so thankful that I had her friendship, for however brief a time it may have been.  I am so thankful for her support and all of her encouragement during this journey. 

I will continue to keep the blog updated as much as I can.  Please remember me on November 17th.  My surgery is scheduled for 4:00 pm, and I have to be at the hospital at 1:30.  Thanks for reading!

11 Days....

Day 4 of the full-liquid, pre-op diet.  So far, so good-although we went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things, and there is a Subway there...and the smell of the bread literally made my mouth water!!  :-(  I walked past it very, very quickly.  This week I have been through hopefully all of my pre-op testing.  My endoscopy was on Wednesday and it went well.  I had blood tests, a stress echo and a chest x-ray on Thursday. 

It's hard to believe that in 11 days, I'm going to change my life forever.  I'm nervous, but very excited too.  I'm getting ready to put an end to a 16-year struggle...and I will win the battle and the war!!  :-)  I'm so happy that I've made the decision to do this.  I am so thankful for my wonderful, supportive husband (who is doing the liquid diet with me, by the way), and the support of my family and friends. 

I'm also finding that the closer I get to my surgery date, the more I see dissent and disapproval starting to creep out of the woodwork.  People ask, "Isn't the surgery too dangerous?"  No.  No more dangerous than having your gall bladder removed.  How many thousands of people have that done in a day?  "Will you ever to be able to eat again?"  Yes.  Absolutely.  I will eat again-I will eat normal foods again...just in much smaller portions, and I won't have to fight the mind trick that I need more.  "Can't you just lose weight the old-fashioned way?"  No.  I've tried that for 16 years, only to watch myself gain weight year after year. 

I'm ready to have my life back.  I'm 35 years old, and I want my life back.  I have a fabulous husband, a fantastic family, friends, church family, etc.  I have so much to be thankful for.  I am so blessed-and I am ready to live like the blessed girl I am.  I have no doubts that God is with me on my journey.  So I don't have much time for nay-sayers.  This is a path that I chose for myself.  With God's strength, and with the love and support of all my "cheerleaders"....LET'S DO THIS!!

15 Days and Counting

Hello all!  It's only Monday and a lot has happened!  My surgery has been scheduled for November 17th!  This week I go through some pre-op procedures.  Wednesday I go in for my endoscopy, and Thursday I go for blood tests, stress echo and chest x-rays.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers....it's gettin' real!!

WOWZERS!!!! BIG NEWS!!!

Just a small blog tonight...but we just cleared a major hurdle!  Right at the end of the day I got a call from the Weight Management Clinic.  My insurance has approved my surgery!!!!  I am over the moon!  I'm amazed....I've worried and worried and worried about this.  It happened so fast...the clinic just submitted my claim yesterday-and they had the approval TODAY!  Wow.  I love Blue Cross Blue Shield!  :-)  Now it's on to pre-op testing and scheduling the surgery.  I should know my surgery date Monday! 

And the Countdown OFFICIALLY Begins....

I met my surgeon today!  Wow, he is wonderful!  I had visions of some House-like character.  (House-the arrogant doctor many of us love to hate).  But he wasn't at all like that.  He was laid-back, down to earth, very warm and compassionate.  I was blown away.  Also very impressed...a surgeon has to have performed 100 laparoscopic gastric bypass surgeries to be considered an expert.  My surgeon, Dr. Christopher (Chris) Edwards, has performed over 800!!!!  So I think I'm in very capable hands.  Needless to say, I feel so much better after getting to meet him, talk to him, ask a hundred questions, etc.  He really put my mind at ease about a lot of things.  Travis went with me to my appointment and he liked Dr. Edwards as well.  He said that as of today, we are about 3 weeks away from surgery!  I have to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks prior to surgery-during that time, I will be undergoing pre-op testing to make sure I'm in good shape for surgery.  Wow...I just can't believe I'm here.  I'm here!  Today was a good day and I'm feeling very good about my decision-but I have my moments.  I have my moments when the gravity of all this hits me.  I've learned so much over the last few months...about myself, about my body and strain that it is currently under, and about the revolution it will undergo during and after surgery.  I'm still nervous about the surgery, but I'm anxious to begin this new phase in my life.  Rephrase that-I'm ready to get my life back.  I'm ready to get ME back.